The Z-bot Daily - A Newspaper Out of This World
Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 3:03 pm
The best daily newspaper that's actually a monthly newspaper written by a robotic foreign ambassador who can't speak either of the languages he's ambassading to and is named after his speed.
I noticed that, while there are two full newspapers dedicated to the big stuff, nobody ever looks out for the little guys. I'm here for you.
Article 1
With Halloween having just passed, we have a wealth of stories for you today! Upgrading from our usual zero, we now have three full-length boring stories! Joy!
The Case of the Cup
After Halloween last night, Detective Tobz Elttil found himself with one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup short, as one of the packages he received while Trick-or-Treating (which is totally a normal thing to do at the age of 36) only had one cup inside of it. He is currently running inspections at each and every house he visited that night in search of the perpetrator. When questioned about whether he should only search the houses where he received Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, he replied "Balderdash!"
We're still trying to figure out what that means.
-Popoty FakeNameian
A Poor Black Cat
A small black cat was discovered last night by our very own Mr. Hesuckieth! We are currently attempting to decipher his owner, but so far there have been no clues whatsoever except for what appears to be a band around his neck with a bunch of random letters and a street on it. Our local scientist, Mr. Science, is analyzing the chemical components of this band as we speak in hopes of it turning up something. If you own the cat, please come into our headquarters and claim him. Everyone keeps coming into our office and thinking we're witches, which is only partially true.
-Aiden Somebodycares
Utopia
It doesn't exist.
Don't ask me how I know, but let's just say that things got a little crazy last night. Trust me; never drink a bottle that has the words "Drink Me" on it.
- Allison Aborigine
Well, that's all for now! Join us in two weeks or so to read more exciting stories about our village of Poppycock, growing in population every year! Of course, if you want to move in with us, the 71 people here wouldn't mind. Probably.
Does anyone want a cat?
Newspaper funded, owned, and managed by Zippy the Z-bot.
I noticed that, while there are two full newspapers dedicated to the big stuff, nobody ever looks out for the little guys. I'm here for you.
Article 1
With Halloween having just passed, we have a wealth of stories for you today! Upgrading from our usual zero, we now have three full-length boring stories! Joy!
The Case of the Cup
After Halloween last night, Detective Tobz Elttil found himself with one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup short, as one of the packages he received while Trick-or-Treating (which is totally a normal thing to do at the age of 36) only had one cup inside of it. He is currently running inspections at each and every house he visited that night in search of the perpetrator. When questioned about whether he should only search the houses where he received Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, he replied "Balderdash!"
We're still trying to figure out what that means.
-Popoty FakeNameian
A Poor Black Cat
A small black cat was discovered last night by our very own Mr. Hesuckieth! We are currently attempting to decipher his owner, but so far there have been no clues whatsoever except for what appears to be a band around his neck with a bunch of random letters and a street on it. Our local scientist, Mr. Science, is analyzing the chemical components of this band as we speak in hopes of it turning up something. If you own the cat, please come into our headquarters and claim him. Everyone keeps coming into our office and thinking we're witches, which is only partially true.
-Aiden Somebodycares
Utopia
It doesn't exist.
Don't ask me how I know, but let's just say that things got a little crazy last night. Trust me; never drink a bottle that has the words "Drink Me" on it.
- Allison Aborigine
Well, that's all for now! Join us in two weeks or so to read more exciting stories about our village of Poppycock, growing in population every year! Of course, if you want to move in with us, the 71 people here wouldn't mind. Probably.
Does anyone want a cat?
Newspaper funded, owned, and managed by Zippy the Z-bot.