How to Eat a Chocolate Easter Bunny
1. Purchase a big hollow Chocolate Easter Bunny. Be sure that he is in a standing standing with a fat body and big ears. Note that the bunny must be hollow!
...OR - Hope that the Easter Bunny brings you one.
2. On Easter morning, in your pajamas, carefully remove your bunny from his packaging, taking care not to break him!
3. Bite off the bunny's ears and eat them - just the ears!
4. Make sure that you have bitten off enough to open up the hollow part of your bunny's body.
5. Inspect your bunny for breaks, cracks, or holes.
6. If your bunny's torso appears to be in perfect condition, fill him with milk through the open hole at the top of his head and allow it to sit for a few minutes.
7. Drink the chocolate milk from your bunny.
8. Eat the remainder of your bunny.
9. Get dressed and attend Easter services...
The Rules for Chocolate
• If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit; so eat as many as you want.
• "The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
• Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal; it'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
• A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
• If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
But IF you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you??
• If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
• If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?? Don't they actually counteract each other?
• Money talks. Chocolate sings!!
• Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
• Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit!
• If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
• Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
