I'm writing my own "The Hobbit" script for fun...

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Muzozavr
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I'm writing my own "The Hobbit" script for fun...

Post by Muzozavr » Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:30 am

... and I'm liveblogging my attempts at doing so, chapter by chapter. The first chapter is 99% done, but there are almost no changes and no cuts there. There will be some cuts and changes further on, but not many. Yes, I know it's a completely unauthorized script, this is just an experiment and a writing exercise, partly for fun, partly to gain skill.

My "Let's Fail at Screenwriting" blog is at http://muzozavr.wordpress.com/

The chapter 1 post contains a link to "The script so far", but I'm putting it here as well: https://dl.dropbox.com/s/qlok5se191iejm3/hobbit_01.html

Also, this is, of course, completely and totally unrelated to Peter Jackson's version -- in fact, I haven't seen it and the third PJ Hobbit film isn't even out yet. After I finish my script, I'll be able to watch PJ's film and compare. :lol:

I'd love some feedback on the "reasons behind my decisions" part, if possible. :wink: Though I'm kind of swamped with things I have to read before university starts, but I'll definitely be able to spend some of my free time on the script, so I'm hoping to finally finish something without letting my ADHD get the better of me. Here's hoping this chapter-by-chapter process gets me motivated.
Rest in peace, Kym. I hardly knew ya.
Rest in peace, Marinus. A bright star, you were ahead of me on my own tracks of thought. I miss you.
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tyteen4a03
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Post by tyteen4a03 » Fri Jul 25, 2014 10:17 pm

I'm not sure if the lack of stage directions (for lack of a better phrase) in the long, long monologues of characters is intended. I hope it's just that I've never written a screenplay.
and the duck went moo

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Post by Muzozavr » Sat Jul 26, 2014 12:09 am

Thank you for feedback, let's hope more people read and reply. :D
I hope it's just that I've never written a screenplay.
Well, I've never written one before, either. :?

I'm planning to send this blog link to two kinds of people: Tolkien fans and screenwriters. It'd be interesting to see what differences there will be in their feedback.
I'm not sure if the lack of stage directions (for lack of a better phrase) in the long, long monologues of characters is intended.
The long monologues are mostly by-the-book and were originally even longer. The opening narration alone was more than twice longer.

If I understand you correctly (just what do you mean by "stage directions"?) some would say I have too much. The general attitude among screenwriters seems to be "leave directing to directors unless it's ABSOLUTELY needed to highlight some bit of information". Here are a few quotes from (for example) Glen Berry:
You are not directing this movie and you cannot direct from your typewriter. Leave that to the actors and the director. They will only be annoyed at your interference in their job and, if they get over that enough to read your script, will ignore your emphasis anyway.
Many times, people throw these lines into the mix because they are trying to give the actors something to do on long, boring tracts of dialogue. Let the director and actors figure out when they look, where they look, what they are doing in the scene.
Leave the acting to the actors. Do not include parentheticals, notations on emotion or any actions that do not directly advance the plot.
Because this is my first draft and I'm more busy working out the logic of the adaptation (what to keep, what to cut, what to expand, etc) I have more "directions" than strictly needed. I'm writing the second chapter now and the part where Bilbo reads the letter (in a voiceover) has a parenthetical that says "quickly, representing a fast reading speed". Any professional screenwriter would probably kill me on the spot for doing that. It's like the ugliest parenthetical ever.

If you've read The Hobbit, I'd be most interested in knowing what you think about the "Gandalf's strategy" part of my reasons. The dwarves really pull a similar trick on both Bilbo and Beorn and it's something I wouldn't want to ignore. If possible, I'd want to end the script for the first film a bit before Beorn just to allow both scripts to start in a similar way with dwarves appearing in a prolonged sequence, highlighting this similarity. I'm not sure if I can time everything right for this to work, though.
Rest in peace, Kym. I hardly knew ya.
Rest in peace, Marinus. A bright star, you were ahead of me on my own tracks of thought. I miss you.
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tyteen4a03
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Post by tyteen4a03 » Sat Jul 26, 2014 10:59 am

No I haven't. (I'm just not that interested yet)

As a script writer myself I write a lot of stage directions in my script because I am the director as well; I'm not sure how it works professionally.
and the duck went moo

Beep bloop
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Post by Muzozavr » Sat Jul 26, 2014 1:22 pm

I write a lot of stage directions in my script because I am the director as well
Do you mean "in your head" or for real? Films or stage plays? If you're directing indie films, I'd LOVE to see them. :D

I think it's a difference of mindset between stage and film productions. In a stage play, the playwrights can write a lot more stage directions and such than screenwriters ever get to.
Rest in peace, Kym. I hardly knew ya.
Rest in peace, Marinus. A bright star, you were ahead of me on my own tracks of thought. I miss you.
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tyteen4a03
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Post by tyteen4a03 » Sun Jul 27, 2014 2:31 pm

Muzozavr wrote:
I write a lot of stage directions in my script because I am the director as well
Do you mean "in your head" or for real? Films or stage plays? If you're directing indie films, I'd LOVE to see them. :D

I think it's a difference of mindset between stage and film productions. In a stage play, the playwrights can write a lot more stage directions and such than screenwriters ever get to.
Fun films and plays; nothing too serious (yet). It's hard to gather actors in Hong Kong, and I'm too broke for professional equipment. :(
and the duck went moo

Beep bloop
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Post by Muzozavr » Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:51 pm

tyteen4a03 wrote:
Muzozavr wrote:
I write a lot of stage directions in my script because I am the director as well
Do you mean "in your head" or for real? Films or stage plays? If you're directing indie films, I'd LOVE to see them. :D

I think it's a difference of mindset between stage and film productions. In a stage play, the playwrights can write a lot more stage directions and such than screenwriters ever get to.
Fun films and plays; nothing too serious (yet). It's hard to gather actors in Hong Kong, and I'm too broke for professional equipment. :(
Even so, I'd love to see that. Do you have any of your plays/films published anywhere on the Internet?
Rest in peace, Kym. I hardly knew ya.
Rest in peace, Marinus. A bright star, you were ahead of me on my own tracks of thought. I miss you.
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