The Temple Of Discord

tooncool64 · Post by **tooncool64** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:36 pm

Welp since my last level didn't go so well I am starting a new series.
The Discord Trials:
1. The Temple Of Discord
2.???
3.???
This is kinda a pick-your-own path adventure. If you do it wrong, its uncomplete-able and if you do it right, maybe you'll find a secret boss battle!

tooncool64 · Post by **tooncool64** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:07 pm

Any feedback?

Sammy_P · Post by **Sammy_P** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:44 pm

you posted this level like an hour ago, dont expect feedback so soon

tooncool64 · Post by **tooncool64** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:05 pm

Ok ill wait.

Yzfm · Post by **Yzfm** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:11 pm

Okay, first off, this adventure is STILL very small. If you want more people to be playing your adventures, fill them with content.

Second off, lotsa stuff in the adventure is broken. The Iceflower is apparently unkillable and the sign in the sacrifice room has the dialogue of the thwarts in the first room.

Finally, I don't really like the plot of the adventures (It's not exciting and pretty much straightforward, and highly random, and also due to my religious beliefs, I don't play stuff with plots with gods and the like.)

There's room for LOTS of improvement, if you want to make your adventures more appealing, follow the following steps:

1. Take more time to think of the plot. Make it long, stretched and possibly referring to the canon series, like lots of people's adventures 'round here.

2. Do not rush the adventure, take time to find bugs and the like. People won't play a broken adventure.

3. Do not leave your adventure empty. Think how you must put obstacles in the player's way, make more than one puzzle/action section or one big complex section, whatever suits you. Think of out of the box solutions for adventures.

And remember, nobody gets it right from the beginning, quality needs patience and time, and practice makes perfect.

I wish you good luck in your future adventures!

Master Wonder Mage · Post by **Master Wonder Mage** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 12:18 pm

I don't think the iceflower being unkillable was a mistake. And I also don't think there's a problem with including gods in your adventure, so long as you make sure they never try to parallel the god/gods of an actual religion, nor parody religion itself.

However, there were only four rooms, one of which with nothing but a skippable dialog in it, one of which with nothing but a star in it. Only one (completely optional) room had any content at all. It's okay to have "contentless" rooms and skippable dialogs; TMD18 had several of both, including one dialog probably no one except SS01, who I told about it, found. But the key was that there was plenty of content in between things. If you want to continue making adventures with only 2-5 rooms, you're going to have to put a lot more in each room if you want to succeed.

Before I give in-depth comments on how well the story is done, I would like to see a second or third part of something, so until then I will remain quiet on that point.

tooncool64 · Post by **tooncool64** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 4:14 pm

Don't worry about the god thing. And I will make a second part soon.

Jutomi · Post by **Jutomi** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 4:23 pm

To be honest, I would try this, but, I'm having that glitchy stuff again.

It seems to only happen when I download your adventures, Tooncool, I don't know why.

tooncool64 · Post by **tooncool64** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 4:25 pm

. Sorry. MY files have CAS, Cruddy Adventure Syndrome.

Jutomi · Post by **Jutomi** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 4:31 pm

Sorry! Now I somewhat regret making that previous post.

I actually did download it!
I just was looking under Micah instead of Tooncool, this time.

To be honest, I didn't mind this adventure;
Albeit simplex, it's quite interesting.

Also, I'm able to say "DIE", and still live.

What's more is that the sign says the same thing that the thwarts say.

Albeit looking glitchy, it almost seems to add to the adventure!
Thanks, Tooncool.

Wonderman109 · Post by **Wonderman109** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:45 am

Master Wonder Mage wrote:and skippable dialogs; TMD18 had several of both, including one dialog probably no one except SS01, who I told about it, found.

Where is that?

loofisawesome · Post by **loofisawesome** » Fri Feb 20, 2015 11:59 pm

I was actually going to include Greek gods in my adventures. Is that okay?

The Temple Of Discord

The Temple Of Discord

Success!