The Farmer's Prize Goat
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.
He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole.
Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound.
So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.
The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound.
As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole,and shoved it in. No sound.
He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound.
He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man askedhim, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?"
The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
The burglar and the parrot
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head,
promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked
the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as
he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as
a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He
hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn
you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name
a parrot Moses?"
The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that
would name a Rotweiller "Jesus"!
Cat
Thanks to Kymmie.
I'm sure he was an amazing pet. Pigs are just so smart, it can be awe-inspiring sometimes.