Wonderland Monthly - Jutomi's Newspaper Company

[Jutomi]

Hello, fellow Wonderlanders!

I have a "friend" who's an editor of international form letters of Jutsa on a special planet, far, far away,
and I realized something - this forum doesn't have a newsweek!
... ok well, yes, it does, the Midnight Post,
but we need something more sensational-I MEAN recreational!

So, I shall be posting special newsletters for special events
throughout Wonderland. I hope you enjoy!

Also, Here's a link to a special website, made by cloudrac3r, with a far more organized newspaper.

[Jutomi]

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #1:

Article #1: Wonderland Weekly

As you know by now, a new newspaper company has
popped up in Wonderland.



Nothing like the smell of ink to wake you up in the morning!

The newspaper company was founded by yours truly,
and is now used to send information of fake-I mean... BREAKing news!

Article #2: Jedlic's Famous Cake

Jedlic has created a marvelous cake from a family recipe,
to which has been brought into Wondertown for the citizens to enjoy!
We took a picture of his cake,
which has been found to be absolutely delectable!



Article #3: Morklin gets a facelift?

Look at this interesting little mask Morklin got at the magic shop!



From now on, you may refer to Morklin as Corporal Morklingon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's all for this week, folks! Have a nice day!

[StinkyFTW]

Nice! Keepup the good work!

[myuacc1studios]

Awesome!

[Chip]

Great!
Thanks, Jutomi.

[Jutomi]

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #2:

Article #1: Snails

WHAT?

Yes. baby birdies, folks.
They have been blocking our path to the paper company!

How are we supposed to get to our front doors in the morning
if they're in our way?



This is what happens when our typist sleeps in and the servers are down the next day. You can't get access to any bird feed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's all for this week, folks! Have a nice day![/quote]

[Jutomi]

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #3:

Article #1: Birbs Got a New Home

Welp, after a tragic invasion of birbs appeared in front of Jutomi Inc,
we finally were able to find a place for all of the little birdies.



Only took about a week.

The good news is that we have so much news to bring you this week,
that we're actually going to give you TWO issues!



So, without further ado, ON with the news!

Article #2: Valentines Day

Yes, the scent of love and chocolate, nutella and tear-soaked hair fills the air
as this - I mean, last weekend, hosted one of the loveliest days of the year
- Valentines Day



Now I know what most of us are thinking, "It's time for us to be single again".
And - you are absolutely right. Most of us ARE single and it's a terrible day and should be burned to the ground.



But, not for all of us! Some of us find it as a time to rejoice with our
stinker-friends and remember our one true loves - chocolate!



Happy... V... val...

[Jutomi]

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Welp, as promised, we're having two posts this week!
We've got a real shocker for you wonderlanders out there, this issue!

Issue #4:

Article #1: The Loss of a Fellow Scritter

Yep, that's right, folks. A fellow scritter friend of mine, Stiggy,
went away just this Stinker-Leader's Day.

Everything's fine, though. He's in a better place.



Article #2: Forum Ship

It's official! Our beloved member, Pråppe - known by most of us fellow stinkers
as "Xpr'd", is now dating Minimus - known as "Stinkersquad01".

Minimus seems to hate the relationship, but Xpr'd has given us the OK
to reveal their relationship to the Wonderland public in this juicy gossip article.



The burning love of Valentines day has struck again, and now...
oh no.... V... Val...

[myuacc1studios]

Birbs?

Anyways, thanks Jut, RIP Stiggy and Happy V... val...

[StinkerSquad01]

OH NO

[Wonderman109]

RIP in peace Stiggy
We will always remember you

Oh, and enjoy Cloud City

[cloudrac3r]

Hey Jutomi, if you wanted to put this on a website, I'm happy to let you use mine for free so we can have a proper place for this instead of the articles being scattered through this forum thread amidst several replies
Let me know if you're interested!
(It's not exactly the catchiest URL - cloudrac3r.ddns.net, UGH! but it's free so I'll take it.)

[Jutomi]

Aw, thank you, Cloud.

However, I personally am content with having my content posted in the Wonderland content.

I'm very glad to read your offer though.

[Jutomi]

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #5:

Article #1: The Pit of Eternity

A mysterious pit has appeared in Wonderland!



We believe that this is the work of one of those newfangled
youngsters who's trying to see if the void is real by digging deep enough.
Stinkers from all over the Great Plains are gathering around to see it!
We have yet to identify the stinker's name, but we're pre---

Jutomi: Achievement Get - The Darkest Hole
Dig a hole to the void and release something potentially terrible or get nauseated

... eheh... whoopsies.

Article #2: The Wizards' Council

I have released something that's definitely NOT potentially terrible. OBVIOUSLY.
It is a series of 42 videos, recorded from my television studio's camera crew,
covering how I, the great Jutomi, single-stinkerly overcame the obstacles
of the Wizards' Council! And without chea--...
I refuse to speak anything more about this subject.

Click here to view the topic.

The videos shall be released in a short amount of time from this post.

and you will like them I mean ahaha... I hope you enjoy...

[sonicoll]

A pit with grass? Strange.

[Wonderman109]

Silly Jutomi, the void is on Wonderland's east surface near the coast, not underground. Digging down might help you find thwart lairs in the under-Void and the odd cave, but the Void is canonically an above-ground phenomenon.

[OondiLalaLoopy]

Little and simplistic jokes with images...I LIKE IT
BTW maybe Jutomi has thought at a remain of the void in the thwarts' lair after the void's struck and it's destruction in the WA trilogy...(correct me if I put a wrong information).

[Jutomi]

'Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #6:

Article #1: The Sickening Truth:

Greetings!

So, as you may have noticed,
the last post was two weeks ago.
To be honest, that's because we forgot
that this place even existed.

I actually did remember this week,
which is odd because this should be my sick day off at the editors' office.

I'm concerned the void may have caused me to get a bit of a cold.



What's more, 13 fellow members of Wonderland's
community version of a sibling have also fallen ill - within a month!
Fortunately some of us have already recovered, and I'm
quite hopeful that noone else will get sick - though, no guaranties.

Article #2: Trouble in Delta:

No, not the River Delta!
It's been announced that HOTSP vδ is going to be released, relatively soon - hopefully!
It'll be up to Delta testers to see if it could use a tuneup - however,
we're going to be having a special crew out to see if everything's all nice and horrible before you do.



That's all for this week, folks!
See you - wait, what about last week?
Well, not very much happened, last week.
It was pretty boring. However, I did get a self-portrait
done of myself! It's pretty meh but I think I captured
my good looks enough with what materials I had.



Have a marvelous week, folks!

[Jutomi]

THIS JUST IN But not really...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Issue #7:

So, a few weeks ago, our newspaper company had been printed out in a far more organized form,
by our very own fellow user, cloudrac3r!



Unfortunately, legal documentation got in the way, so legally linking their
website with our newspaper was... not very quick,
but it did manage to get done!

Click here to view the website!

And, special thank you, cloudrac3r, for creating it and permitting our company to use it!

We hope you all enjoy!

[Jutomi]

A pit with grass? Strange.

...

Silly Jutomi, the void is on Wonderland's east surface near the coast, not underground. Digging down might help you find thwart lairs in the under-Void and the odd cave, but the Void is canonically an above-ground phenomenon.

...

Little and simplistic jokes with images...I LIKE IT

Thanks.

BTW maybe Jutomi has thought at a remain of the void in the thwarts' lair after the void's struck and it's destruction in the WA trilogy...(correct me if I put a wrong information). :Stinky Neutral: :Stinky Neutral:

I'm honestly not sure.
I do know that the void crystal still existed in POTZ, but it wouldn't be located down there, now...

To be honest, I really just wanted to make a pit.

[Wonderland King]

Nice work so far.

[loofisawesome]

Look at this interesting little mask Morklin got at the magic shop!

majoras mask anyone *shot*

[cloudrac3r]

And, special thank you, cloudrac3r, for creating it and permitting our company to use it!

Aw, you're welcome Jutomi! <3

[StinkyFTW]

Recently, I have became a reporter for Wonderland weekly, so I'm searching for juicy stories! If you find any, P.M me and I will let my manager know! {Just make sure it's newsworthy, though } P.S From now on Wonderland will be weekly!

[Jutomi]

Phew. One think about having a weekly newspaper company is that you're supposed to give weekly updates.

Too bad I'm terrible with schedules. Oh well, at least it's better to have a lousily scheduled newspaper company than no newspaper company at all!

So, three issues, covering the past three weeks, will be made, two coming after this post.

We hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #8:

Article #1: Uh

Nothing happened this week.

[Jutomi]

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #9:

Article #1: Reporter Report Report:

Well, well, well!

What do we have here?!?

Yes, that's right, folks. Wonderland Weekly has been slowly getting larger, and we've hired a new recruit to be head reporter of Wonderland Weekly;
Our very own, StinkyFTW, Keifer Jones!



And that totally did not take trillions of stinker-bucks to integrate to the newspaper

Article #2: White as Snow but Isn't Snow:

Something of minor importance seems to have hit Wonderland - white glove chargers.
That's not so unusual, by itself. However, they seem to be ... spreading.

We bring you not-live to New News Reporter Stinkyftw, Keifer Jones,
where he has video footage of one of these charges actually... splitting.

- oh... wait he didn't take any footage of this.
... Well - uh, just... kind of watch out for white glove charges and see if they pulsate or something.
...
yeah
...
onto the next article.

Article #3: Loofy's Pizza Job Opening:

Yeah, I was surprised too! But StinkyFTW insisted that Loof wanted to take a
small break from adventuring to open a pizza parlour.



That's right, folks...
and it has electronics.

And there's a job opening there!

As a security officer!

...



Sorry, I can't keep a strait face.

April Fools!
- I mean, it's not April Fools anymore, but about a week ago it was.

I know it's sad that you can't face terrifying mechanical stinkers in your battle against the clock, but,
lets face it, Loof could never retire from adventuring, could they?

That's all for last week, folks! Have a good one!

[Jutomi]

Click here to see cloudrac3r's organized copy!

Issue #10:

Article #1: A Bluish Void Thing?:

As a more serious article, I'd like to start this off by giving StinkyFTW, Keifer Jones, my condolences.

As he has reported, and our team investigated, it seems that StinkyFTW's friend's home was swallowed by a...
currently, unexplained anomaly.

Oh - don't worry, their friend is alright, just.. their house is gone, so naturally they're a bit shaken up.

It seems that there's been a... blue rift, popping up around the Foggy Peaks,
similar to the void, but less active, much quieter, and... well, blue.

We're afraid this might also be related to the white glove charges appearing more frequently throughout Wonderland. We're not sure, but this almost seems to be a... light version of the void?

Don't quote me on that.

seems to be a... light version of the void

I SAID DON'T QUOTE ME

Anyhow, whatever this thing is, it hasn't spread far so far.
So, everyone, don't be afraid, but... keep in mind that Wonderland might be in danger again. or not. We don't know.

[size=10I'm hoping I didn't accidentally cause this when I was making my pit.[/size]

Article #2: 8-bit Pastors:

Our very own web-page designer, Cloudrac3r, has apparently informed StinkyFTW, Keifer Jones who's informed me that Cloud themself has created
an 8-bit version of the melody "Pastoral", which will be added
to this newspaper given their permission as well as giving us a link to it.

Speaking of which, this past week has been a very musical week,
where tons of the old Wonderland Adventurers have been compiling some
interesting music... or, partially-music, sessions. They've been a lot of fun.

That's all for now, I believe... oh wait, no, there is one other thing.

Article #3: Tangled in Green Tape:

As it turns out... I made a huge mistake in my publications of both HOTSP versions Beta and Gamma.

The teleporters in the Tropics didn't work.

Fortunately, loofisawesome, who was sweet enough to test the hub,
has reported back to me about that, and it has, hopefully, been fixed.

So, a note to everyone currently playing Version Gamma,
I apologize for this mixup - but, this is why I added the special hub-room thing near the beginning of the hub.

Something to note is that you can't really access the rest of world without using a certain cheat,
so if you don't know how to do this said cheat, I recommend going strait to
world 4 or, since 4 is going to be heavily reduced in difficulty in Delta,
just go strait to 5. Or stop altogether until Delta arrives, which... hopefully will be released this summer!
Hopefully.

Anyhow, that is all for now! Happy adventuring, fellow Wonderlanders!

One last thing(I know I've said that already but, I'm the editor, I can say what I want):
I want to thank you, Cloudrac3r and StinkyFTW, so much for helping me with Wonderland Weekly.
So... thank you! Thank you both, very much.

[StinkyFTW]

No problem Jutomi, I'm glad I got the reporter job!

[cloudrac3r]

Phew, you've given me quite some work to do. Let's get to it!
And by the power of post editing, it's done!
Trying to type HTML code in a phone app with autocorrect is the worst. HREF (a link) becomes Greg. *facepalm*
That took either 40 mins or 1hr 40 mins, I'm not sure.
Yes, go ahead and share the Pastoral link.

Use this as the default setting for sharing cloudrac3r's links?

Yes.

...did not take trillions of stinker-bucks to integrate to the newspaper

Hey! I'm working for free here!

[size=10Blah blah blah[/size]

That, was not very good. I guess you will have to try again!

Oh, and what did you say about other Wonderland Adventurers and music?

[Jutomi]

Yes, go ahead and share the Pastoral link.

Alrighty, I'll add that to next week's post when I get the link.

...did not take trillions of stinker-bucks to integrate to the newspaper

Hey! I'm working for free here!

Shh noone has to know that

[size=10Blah blah blah[/size]

That, was not very good. I guess you will have to try again!

oh...
woops.

Oh, and what did you say about other Wonderland Adventurers and music?

I like most wonderland adventures and music?