M.A.W.

Davimad · Post by **Davimad** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 3:46 pm

Liz,

Your dogs must have been more tuneful than me, both of my cats have walked out

Just remembered, I'm supposed to be thinking of funny animal stories for Lori's thread.

I LOVE BEING M.A.D. IN WONDERLAND, COS I KNOW I'M NOT ALONE

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 5:04 pm

The AARP Song

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP.
Ms. Andrews sang a favorite from the Sound of Music, Favorite
Things. There were a few changes to the words, to fit in with the
AARP theme. Here are the new words to this tune:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

the cat · Post by **the cat** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 12:12 am

I'm not crazy, Just a little unwell

Davimad · Post by **Davimad** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 1:21 pm

We are ALL just a little unwell! HAHAHA

Nice to see you here Cathy.

the cat · Post by **the cat** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 2:56 pm

Good Work M.A.D. L O V E It! Cat's right laugther is good for you

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 4:35 pm

More fun coming your way! Poopy pants

!

Enjoy

Cat

popo · Post by **popo** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 5:06 pm

Hey! How did you get hold of my baby photos?

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 7:14 pm

Hey Popo! It was on the internet for all to see.I just looked up Poopy Pants, low and behold there you where.

Cat

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 7:34 pm

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Cat

Teri1255 · Post by **Teri1255** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 7:39 pm

Okay, I'm certainly old enough to join in on this. I'll be SLEEPY, because I am always either TIRED or Playing Wonderland. I just can't seem to find the energy to clean house anymore; I'd rather go to work! (I'm turning 50 this year and don't look it, but sure FEEL it!!)

Liz Mayhew · Post by **Liz Mayhew** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:26 am

Cat - what a great collection of oddities we use in our language

.

Teri - what's cleaning house? I don't seem to have come across that idea!

Liz

majic1 · Post by **majic1** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:04 pm

I have just learned a new trick. I've noticed Watcher doing this, and I wanted to do it too! Aren't these fun?!!!

The old dog has learned a new trick.

Liz Mayhew · Post by **Liz Mayhew** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 3:03 pm

What a great new trick Majic1. That's really fun. Don't know how you've done it. I have a folder full of small animations which I use in my emails, but when I tried to paste one here it wouldn't work

Liz

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 3:14 pm

clean fun !
Cat

the cat · Post by **the cat** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 3:21 pm

Do tell us, How you did this. it look like a lot of fun.

Davimad · Post by **Davimad** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:07 pm

Sorry folks, I don't want to be a party pooper but having received several PM's, this must be said.

There is another thread for jokes etc, please post in that thread.
This thread is for chit chat and humorous anecdotes, please try to keep it clean. Not everyone appreciates 'near the knuckle' humour.

Having said all that, can we get back to normal?

Thanks

Post by **Midnight Synergy** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 8:20 pm

Agreed - and if you post jokes, make sure they're ok for a family site. Since young kids visit this site, just ask yourself, before posting, if you'd be okay with a five-year old reading this joke.

(I don't want to police this site - so please use your own good judgement. Stinky asked me to explain one of the words in the potato joke (now removed), and I didn't know what to say!

)

majic1 · Post by **majic1** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:14 am

Back to the main question, Maureen - I've gotta know - if color is spelled, "colour", then do you spell Wonderland, "Wounderland"???

And is it really a "spyke"????? and not a spike like I thought?

The Coileys are Couileys, the Kabooms are Kaboums & I KNOW Z-bots are Zed-Bots.

I knouw I'm missing soumthing.

Liz Mayhew · Post by **Liz Mayhew** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 11:09 am

Well u hav to be very corshus wen riting Inglish so every1 nos wot u meen.

Liz

Kaboom! · Post by **Kaboom!** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 11:17 am

een deed!

majic1 · Post by **majic1** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:11 pm

Woodnt it be nise if all werds wer spelled the wa tha sownd? That wood bee eezier.

Davimad · Post by **Davimad** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:18 pm

Aw depends oan yer axcent, och aye the noo!

Awricht majic hen?

majic1 · Post by **majic1** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:31 pm

majic hen?

r u calling mee a chiken?

ann3120 · Post by **ann3120** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:33 pm

majic1 wrote:Woodnt it be nise if all werds wer spelled the wa tha sownd? That wood bee eezier.

But that depends where you are and/or where you're from.
I say ToMAHto and I'm sure you probably say ToMAYto.
And how about PoTAYto - I do not say PoTAHto !!!

but it might be rather nic/se if everyone could spell and pronounce Peeeeeeeeeeg the same way

Davimad · Post by **Davimad** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:35 pm

Naw hen, it's a Scottish term 'o' endeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerment!

Same as yous Amereecans sez hunney. The Inglish sez luv.

majic1 · Post by **majic1** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:42 pm

Thanx for tha clarifikashun, Moreen.

Joolee

ol'gramma · Post by **ol'gramma** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:49 pm

Good grief....are you ladies TALKING
already?????

My motor is just starting!!

O/G

majic1 · Post by **majic1** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 4:19 pm

Of course! I got up early and drank my gallon of coffee!

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 5:11 pm

Enjoy!

Cat

Cat · Post by **Cat** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 5:14 pm

I hope you all enjoy these!

Cat

M.A.W.

Julie Andrews AARP Song

love it

poopy pants

Good Clean Fun :)

pictures

clean fun pictures

more pictures